Yes, it's been a while since my last entry. It's been going so much on and everytime that happens - and believe me, it happens a lot these days - I'm getting out of posting mood.
That doesn't mean I don't read your entries, I really do, but I can't bring myself to post - often I am not even in the mood to comment. I hope that is ok ... can't help you if not.
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What happened?
First of all ... did I ever tell you about my uncle? If not, then long story short: He hates me. Because my grandparents gave me money during my studies. It's not as if they aren't very generous to him - they are -, but he hates that I get money as well, so ... yeah, basically he hates me. I remember him picking a fight over half an eggcup of salt or talking behind my back. His oldest son doesn't talk to me and I have no idea why (because we really didn't spend any time together - so it can't be that I did something to him).
Now I found out that his youngest son, which I haven't seen in many years, is a student in one of my classes. I would not have found out if it weren't for his exceptional nick name.
So yeah, I don't know if you can imagine, but that was really too much for me. I broke down and cried in front of my supervisor and the poor man was so helpless and asked what happened like a hundred times. I told him, that my cousin is in one of my classes and that I have a big problem with his father, but just couldn't go on and tell the whole story. So I really hope he doesn't think about ... something worse than a fight over money.
Whatever: My supervisor reacted pretty cool. He promised to not give me this class for regular teaching and if I think it is too much he even will change my timetable for hospitation and test teaching.
Still it is a pretty fucked up situation and I don't even know if my cousin knows who I am. On the other hand: I now have the chance to see him and get to know him a little better, so that's a chance as well, isn't it?
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Drama won't go away.
For every solved problem or "situation" there is one that refuses to make progress. And we better don't talk about the new ones. Untill now fortunately there's been nothing that can't be fixed, but ... it's tiring.
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That made me think about my life and what I gained so far and what I didn't. About friendship and family and drama and if I'm happy or not and all that jazz.
Made me pondering ... and I wonder if that's a good or a bad thing.
